Dear Dr. John,
My word, it has been a while! I've been too busy at work and home to even care to write to you. But after yesterday's blow up, I felt the need to let things off my chest.
First, it all started at 530. Our son woke up. No prob right? I'll go get him like I always do on the weekends and you sleep in. So what at 8 you get up? I think so. I could be wrong, but it wasn't 530. By 9, our son was already napping. I go put him down and after playing with him all morning, cleaning in between that and feedings I finally got to sit down on my butt and relax. I mean, yeah sure I sat on my butt while I played with our son, but it was the first time I sat down and not have to worry about him or anything. All I wanted to do is clip my coupons and make a list of food for shopping which BTW - my plan was to go right after he was put down for nap so I could come home early.
Then, it all started.
"Hey babe, go make breakfast. Eggs, bacon, tomato....I'm hungry." - you
Okay, get this I told you I would, but let me just finish my list then I'd get my tired @ss up to go serve you food. BUT WAIT!
15 minutes later....
"NEVERMIND!! DON'T GO MAKE ANYTHING I'M GOING TO GO GET FOOD!" - you
You were so mean Dr. John. You've been mean to before, yesterday was just the top of all argues with you. I've never met an adult like you who has to scream and slam doors because they "are starving"....you're 33 years old. Get up and go making something yourself. Why do I have to get up after being up since 530 AM and taking care of our son? I NEVER repeat NEVER sleep in anymore. I'm always going to bed by 10-1030 and getting up by 2-3 and then back to sleep and up again by 530-630. I'm not complaining because it's for our son who I love to death, but you never say "Hey honey, let me go get him. You sleep in today." I can't expect you to do that because you don't care about me like that. You say you love me, but I want you to show me.
Then, to compare you and I to how much each of us make? Really? You had to go there? I didn't marry you for money. Damn, if I did I wouldn't have married you because you didn't have a toilet to p*ss in when we did. You had a 80k student loan, a car loan and credit cards up your butt. I had the huge savings and 3 bills under my name. So you think just because you "bring home 7k" which btw sure it sounds great that you "bring home" but after taxes and such it's really only 4k ish. Yeah I "bring home" 2772, but after insurance, taxes, and the other little things I only bring home 1887 now. Do that mean, since you work 55+ a week, bring home "7k" that I should do more around the house to make that up? F no. Equal Dr. John. We are husband and wife, we are one. Suppose to be, but I guess not.
I hope you read that book I finished. Maybe, just maybe you'll open your eyes. Only time will tell.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Exhausted.
Dear Dr. John,
I am lost at words right now. I am so mad at you, but I'm sure you have a more logical reason to be more mad at me right? You always twist things around and try to validate that your feelings are more important and that I'm the one at fault. This game is getting really really old now. Soon, don't worry I'll be so tired of it you'll wake up and our son and I will be gone.
First off, let me explain why I am so mad. I went to bed around 11:30? It was late, but nevertheless, I was tired. Long day with our son and running around to the store buying our house more food. I woke up at 1:51 to our son. I went in and fed him and back to sleep he went at 2:33. Then I woke up at 5:20 to get myself ready for work, as I was washing my face I heard our son crying. So, as any mother would do, I finished up my face and went to our son. I fed him once again and this time he was awake 30 minutes later. I went to you at 6:00 because I had to get ready. When I say had, I had to get ready in 25 minutes for work.
I go to wake you up, which by the way, you were snoring. I gently wake you up stating "Our son is awake, I need to get ready for work do you want me to keep him up and play or do you want to put him back to sleep yourself?" But you're so confused when you wake up, you ask me if he woke up during the night - which he did, but right now my focus is do you want me to keep him up or do you want to put him back to sleep since it was 6. Of course, your brain is still "starting up" from sleep mode so you make me repeat myself 3 times before you actually give me an answer, which was: yeah go ahead and try to see if he will go back to sleep.
.....#!%@#!
DID I ASK YOU if you WANTED ME TO PUT HIM BACK TO SLEEP? NOOOOOO, if you opened your waxed ears you would have heard me ask "do you want me to put in his play area to play or do you want to put him back to sleep yourself."
You were really pushing my buttons Dr. John. You really did. I was grumpy from lack of sleep, frustrated with your lack of listening skills and the fact you plain don't man up and be a real father. So fine, I took our son and put him in play area. I rush and put my stuff together in my bags. Inhaled my cereal and then I brush my teeth...you get up 10 minutes after the whole ordeal about what to do with our son. I get dressed and I come out to say good bye to our son, and I don't see him in his play area. I say, Darling where are you? I look down the hall and as a rude and grumpy person you are, say "He's right here with me. He's in the play pen, I didn't lose him."
PLEASE. Let me shave your eyebrows now before you raise them again from your grumpy face. DID I say you lost him? I didn't see him, but heard him so excuse me for not noticing the poor thing locked up in the play pen while you eat your stupid yogurt and your ESPN channel. Then throw it back on me that it's MY fault he's in the play pen because he crawled to my bags on the floor three times, so he had to go in the pen since you won't move my bags since - quote "I don't know what you'll do if I moved your bags. They can't be moved."
I'm about to explode now Dr. John. I really am. That's the worse excuse I've heard from your lips. You could have moved them, if you were so concerned about me getting upset about moving my bags (which by the way, I wouldn't have gotten mad but apparently you don't know me enough) you could have said "Hey Babe, he won't stop crawling to your bags, do you mind if I put them up here?" I wouldn't have cared!!!
Dr. John, one day I will not take your sh*t anymore. I will be strong enough to leave you and never look back. Nothing I do is good enough and you can't man up and be a real husband and father. You still are trying to swing the single life by playing video games whenever you please, no helping me out 50/50 with our son and the house. It's me 90/you 10 with everything. Just wait, I'm just a ticking time bomb; sadly, you'll be the one to lose.
I am lost at words right now. I am so mad at you, but I'm sure you have a more logical reason to be more mad at me right? You always twist things around and try to validate that your feelings are more important and that I'm the one at fault. This game is getting really really old now. Soon, don't worry I'll be so tired of it you'll wake up and our son and I will be gone.
First off, let me explain why I am so mad. I went to bed around 11:30? It was late, but nevertheless, I was tired. Long day with our son and running around to the store buying our house more food. I woke up at 1:51 to our son. I went in and fed him and back to sleep he went at 2:33. Then I woke up at 5:20 to get myself ready for work, as I was washing my face I heard our son crying. So, as any mother would do, I finished up my face and went to our son. I fed him once again and this time he was awake 30 minutes later. I went to you at 6:00 because I had to get ready. When I say had, I had to get ready in 25 minutes for work.
I go to wake you up, which by the way, you were snoring. I gently wake you up stating "Our son is awake, I need to get ready for work do you want me to keep him up and play or do you want to put him back to sleep yourself?" But you're so confused when you wake up, you ask me if he woke up during the night - which he did, but right now my focus is do you want me to keep him up or do you want to put him back to sleep since it was 6. Of course, your brain is still "starting up" from sleep mode so you make me repeat myself 3 times before you actually give me an answer, which was: yeah go ahead and try to see if he will go back to sleep.
.....#!%@#!
DID I ASK YOU if you WANTED ME TO PUT HIM BACK TO SLEEP? NOOOOOO, if you opened your waxed ears you would have heard me ask "do you want me to put in his play area to play or do you want to put him back to sleep yourself."
You were really pushing my buttons Dr. John. You really did. I was grumpy from lack of sleep, frustrated with your lack of listening skills and the fact you plain don't man up and be a real father. So fine, I took our son and put him in play area. I rush and put my stuff together in my bags. Inhaled my cereal and then I brush my teeth...you get up 10 minutes after the whole ordeal about what to do with our son. I get dressed and I come out to say good bye to our son, and I don't see him in his play area. I say, Darling where are you? I look down the hall and as a rude and grumpy person you are, say "He's right here with me. He's in the play pen, I didn't lose him."
PLEASE. Let me shave your eyebrows now before you raise them again from your grumpy face. DID I say you lost him? I didn't see him, but heard him so excuse me for not noticing the poor thing locked up in the play pen while you eat your stupid yogurt and your ESPN channel. Then throw it back on me that it's MY fault he's in the play pen because he crawled to my bags on the floor three times, so he had to go in the pen since you won't move my bags since - quote "I don't know what you'll do if I moved your bags. They can't be moved."
I'm about to explode now Dr. John. I really am. That's the worse excuse I've heard from your lips. You could have moved them, if you were so concerned about me getting upset about moving my bags (which by the way, I wouldn't have gotten mad but apparently you don't know me enough) you could have said "Hey Babe, he won't stop crawling to your bags, do you mind if I put them up here?" I wouldn't have cared!!!
Dr. John, one day I will not take your sh*t anymore. I will be strong enough to leave you and never look back. Nothing I do is good enough and you can't man up and be a real husband and father. You still are trying to swing the single life by playing video games whenever you please, no helping me out 50/50 with our son and the house. It's me 90/you 10 with everything. Just wait, I'm just a ticking time bomb; sadly, you'll be the one to lose.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
hammer feet
Dear Dr. Hammer feet,
Yes you hammer your feet around the house. What's up with that? Well I'm sure I'd know if I just read more books to build my vocabulary.
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Thursday, March 29, 2012
plate of foodfood
Dear Dr. John,
Me? You want me to make you a plate of food? When did I become your b*tch? Oh when I said "I do"... wow you can serve yourself. I'm exhausted. I get up during the night to get our son, commute to work, work, commute home, get our son, clean the house, cook dinner, take care of our son, prepare for the following day, bathe and put our son to bed and I stay up late just to see your face....so yeah I'm tired. So Wtf come in and play with our son and ask me to make you a plate of food then say that it's easy it only take you five minutes. Please, lucky I don't poison you.
And for the 8292746467281 time, why do you sit in the middle of two cushions?!? The crack isn't a place to sit. You're making the cushions flat and warping funny. And tell your friend to stop parking in our driveway. He's a guest he parks on the street. Why should I park on the street? Wow.
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Monday, March 26, 2012
Alarm.
Dear Dr. John,
Why do you set your alarm clock for 5:30, but hit snooze until it's 6:30? Just set your alarm to 6;30 and get up! No need to keep having the alarm go off with the static radio station you failed to make come in clear.
Why do you set your alarm clock for 5:30, but hit snooze until it's 6:30? Just set your alarm to 6;30 and get up! No need to keep having the alarm go off with the static radio station you failed to make come in clear.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Shoes
Dear Dr. John,
Can you please remove your dirty shoes before you walk into our son's room? Thanks it spreads all the germs you walked on.
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Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Polar Bear?
Dear Dr. John,
I was going to write to you about you about toilets, but decided after spending a few minutes typing it that I have something more important to talk to you about. Energy.
What is energy? Do you know? We pay a bill for energy. It's pretty darn high in my opinion. Let me explain. The exterior lights. They are on for our benefit. See our driveway a little better, see outside in case someone or thing is trying to break in our house. Overall, they are nice to have. But when you leave them on for 3 days straight because you "forgot" to turn off....it's just wasteful. Now the heater. That thing is the big energy sucker. I believe we may have an "energy saver" kind, but the matter of the fact is you leave it on all DAY. I even leave you reminders to turn off before you leave, but it never fails. I walk into the house when I get home and it's a warm cozy place for our two fuzzy cats. Hello, we don't need to heat the house for the cats or for your xbox. I only leave it on for our son during the night. So now, since you shown me you can't read english or remember reminders, I must turn it off when I leave so when you wake up the house will be cold. You'll probably turn the heater back on when you get up and leave it on all day...but I suppose at least it was off 1-2 hours less than before. I suggest pants and a shirt to keep you warm. Gloves if you must and socks. Stop walking around in a t-shirt or no shirt and your underwear. That's why we have pants and sweat shirts - they keep us warm.
I was going to write to you about you about toilets, but decided after spending a few minutes typing it that I have something more important to talk to you about. Energy.
What is energy? Do you know? We pay a bill for energy. It's pretty darn high in my opinion. Let me explain. The exterior lights. They are on for our benefit. See our driveway a little better, see outside in case someone or thing is trying to break in our house. Overall, they are nice to have. But when you leave them on for 3 days straight because you "forgot" to turn off....it's just wasteful. Now the heater. That thing is the big energy sucker. I believe we may have an "energy saver" kind, but the matter of the fact is you leave it on all DAY. I even leave you reminders to turn off before you leave, but it never fails. I walk into the house when I get home and it's a warm cozy place for our two fuzzy cats. Hello, we don't need to heat the house for the cats or for your xbox. I only leave it on for our son during the night. So now, since you shown me you can't read english or remember reminders, I must turn it off when I leave so when you wake up the house will be cold. You'll probably turn the heater back on when you get up and leave it on all day...but I suppose at least it was off 1-2 hours less than before. I suggest pants and a shirt to keep you warm. Gloves if you must and socks. Stop walking around in a t-shirt or no shirt and your underwear. That's why we have pants and sweat shirts - they keep us warm.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
you are nothing.
Johnny Apple Seed,
I was mad when I wrote this. Of course, it doesn't hide what you did nor do I ever really forgive you for being rude to me. I am still sad you think you can just make the final decision. I don't hate you, I may get mad at your guts and want to push you into a wall and scream - but that won't solve anything. I'm just tired. PMSing I should mention. Something new I have to deal with since it's been close to 2 years since Aunt Flo decided to visit. My hormones are crazy and you added to the formula, doesn't help. Let me suggest that you just clean up the mess you make and keep your comments to yourself for a few days. Saves everyone from losing a head or more.
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Friday, March 16, 2012
Sit on a crack.
Dear Dr. John,
Why do you sit in the middle of the couch? Wait, let me clarify this. You sit right in the middle of two cushions. Yes, right on the crack between two different cushions. So the main cushion sticks up at the other end. It looks retarded. No really the area you sit is already messed up. When you're not sitting there the cushion is still popped up. You're ruining my sectional. It's so pretty and you're f'in it up so you can sit exactly in the middle of the couch to watch your TV crap. Sit in the middle of a cushion. Try it. Honestly, it will be better for the cushion and for you. Please, before I push you into a pile of our son's poop.
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Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Repeater.
Dear Dr. John,
Why are you explaining me to me what a short sale is and all this crap that I just said to you? Stfu. Omg I can't stand hearing something I already know and I don't like repeaters. You don't know what you're talking about. I already know what it is.
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"Not Now John"
Dear Dr. John,
Here is a song for you. It has your name in it. Good day.
(I copied and pasted from AZlyrics.com)
fuck all that we've got to get on with these
got to compete with the wily japanese
there's too many home fires burning
and not enough trees
so fuck all that
we've got to get on with these
can't stop lose job mind gone silicon
what bomb get away pay day make hay
break down need fix big six
clickity click hold on oh no brrrrrrrrrring bingo!
make em laugh make em cry make em dance in the aisles
make em pay make em stay make em feel ok
not now john
we've got to get on with the film show
hollywood waits at the end of the rainbow
who cares what it's all about
as long as the kids go
not now john
got to get on with the show
hang on john
we've got to get on with this
i don't know what it is
but it fits on here like this ...
come at the end of the shift
we'll go and get pissed
but not now john
i've got to get on with this
hold on john
i think there's something good on
i used to read books but ...
it could be the news
or some other amusement
or it could be reusable shows
fuck all that we've got to get on with these
got to compete with the wily japanese
no need to worry about the vietnamese
got to bring the russian bear to his knees
well, maybe not the russian bear
maybe the swedes
we showed argentina
now let's go and show these
make us feel tough
and won't maggie be pleased
nah nah nah nah nah nah!
s'cusi dove il bar
se para collo pou eine toe bar
s'il vous plait ou est le bar
oi' where's the fucking bar john!
Here is a song for you. It has your name in it. Good day.
(I copied and pasted from AZlyrics.com)
fuck all that we've got to get on with these
got to compete with the wily japanese
there's too many home fires burning
and not enough trees
so fuck all that
we've got to get on with these
can't stop lose job mind gone silicon
what bomb get away pay day make hay
break down need fix big six
clickity click hold on oh no brrrrrrrrrring bingo!
make em laugh make em cry make em dance in the aisles
make em pay make em stay make em feel ok
not now john
we've got to get on with the film show
hollywood waits at the end of the rainbow
who cares what it's all about
as long as the kids go
not now john
got to get on with the show
hang on john
we've got to get on with this
i don't know what it is
but it fits on here like this ...
come at the end of the shift
we'll go and get pissed
but not now john
i've got to get on with this
hold on john
i think there's something good on
i used to read books but ...
it could be the news
or some other amusement
or it could be reusable shows
fuck all that we've got to get on with these
got to compete with the wily japanese
no need to worry about the vietnamese
got to bring the russian bear to his knees
well, maybe not the russian bear
maybe the swedes
we showed argentina
now let's go and show these
make us feel tough
and won't maggie be pleased
nah nah nah nah nah nah!
s'cusi dove il bar
se para collo pou eine toe bar
s'il vous plait ou est le bar
oi' where's the fucking bar john!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Going surfing.
Dear Dr. John,
Monday, March 12, 2012
The facts.
Dear Dr. John,
Life is good. Life is good when you have money. This is not completely true to many. Although, when you do have money life can be exciting. You can walk down to the local pub and get yourself a beer. Buy a fancy telephone to ring up your nearest neighbors. Or if you fancy yourself a nice greasy burger you can buy a bunch of those too. Heck, you could even buy yourself a nice pair of stylish pants to wear out on a night out. But, like I say life can be fun without money. It's when you build up debt for all the fun things you bought or did which creates sad panda faces. And when you realize that you want to actually use your money for something worth while, say a nice house to start your family in...we think back to the days we used our credit cards for that In N Out burger or the trip to the Shell station and bought dip. So don't try to put it on someone's shoulders (say ME) that if they had a better paying job, they save up and buy a house. Example, my job isn't the most important thing on the planet, but it does have some importance. Expecting someone to find a better paying job in this market is a fist fight effort. We can look at the past and think if we could "do it over again" to fix the present, but we can't dwell on the past. Move forward. No punt intended since you drive a Toyota, but let's just focus on the important stuff - now and the future. Sure, buying a house would be nice and who wouldn't want to say they own that house (unless it's nasty looking), but don't make someone feel bad that their job isn't paying enough to help support a better lifestyle.
Life is good. Life is good when you have money. This is not completely true to many. Although, when you do have money life can be exciting. You can walk down to the local pub and get yourself a beer. Buy a fancy telephone to ring up your nearest neighbors. Or if you fancy yourself a nice greasy burger you can buy a bunch of those too. Heck, you could even buy yourself a nice pair of stylish pants to wear out on a night out. But, like I say life can be fun without money. It's when you build up debt for all the fun things you bought or did which creates sad panda faces. And when you realize that you want to actually use your money for something worth while, say a nice house to start your family in...we think back to the days we used our credit cards for that In N Out burger or the trip to the Shell station and bought dip. So don't try to put it on someone's shoulders (say ME) that if they had a better paying job, they save up and buy a house. Example, my job isn't the most important thing on the planet, but it does have some importance. Expecting someone to find a better paying job in this market is a fist fight effort. We can look at the past and think if we could "do it over again" to fix the present, but we can't dwell on the past. Move forward. No punt intended since you drive a Toyota, but let's just focus on the important stuff - now and the future. Sure, buying a house would be nice and who wouldn't want to say they own that house (unless it's nasty looking), but don't make someone feel bad that their job isn't paying enough to help support a better lifestyle.
Paper airplanes vs. paper hands
Dear Dr. John,
Cut your nails. Your hands look like girl hands with your long nails. While you're doing that, I suggest you should go dig in some dirt or go play with some greasy tools. You have soft hands. To be more exact, your hands look like paper pusher hands. I know you never had to do anything ruff with your hands thanks to your career, but for heavens sake tough them up a little. If you wanted, you probably could be a lady hand model for QVC. It's not cute, it's actually gross.
Cut your nails. Your hands look like girl hands with your long nails. While you're doing that, I suggest you should go dig in some dirt or go play with some greasy tools. You have soft hands. To be more exact, your hands look like paper pusher hands. I know you never had to do anything ruff with your hands thanks to your career, but for heavens sake tough them up a little. If you wanted, you probably could be a lady hand model for QVC. It's not cute, it's actually gross.
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Saturday, March 10, 2012
stop
Dear Dr. John,
Please, stop laughing out loud like what you're watching is the most funniest thing you've ever seen or heard. I'm trying to put our son down for a nap. Lord.
Please, stop laughing out loud like what you're watching is the most funniest thing you've ever seen or heard. I'm trying to put our son down for a nap. Lord.
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Ha!
Dear Dr. John,
Surprise! I mean, didn't you get my text message that my father and sister were over? I sent it to you at 11 am. Guess you were too busy to see it. Yes, they had a reason to be here. They dropped off that high chair that's in the kitchen if you didn't already see. Plus, my father hasn't seen his grandson since my birthday so he wanted to visit him too. Oh and please, stop acting fake. We all can hear it in your voice. Just act normal...wait...keep acting fake. Don't need you to yell at them like your video games.
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Good morning
Good morning Dr. John,
How did you sleep last night? I hope you had a peaceful rest. It's 6:41 and I just heard you laugh very loud in the front room. Did you find something funny? Perhaps you saw yourself in the mirror or maybe you saw the messy kitchen. Either way, thank you for the giggles in our son's room. I've been up four times last night so I hope you're not laughing at me. Our son is half asleep on me now and I'm trying to figure out when to change him since he leaked again. I'm just glad you slept a solid night and I was the one up so you could laugh and giggle this very early morning.
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Friday, March 9, 2012
Talking x box.
Dear Dr. John,
Good evening. I'm sitting in our son's room putting him to sleep while you play your games. Excuse me, while you yell at your game for not doing what you wanted. I understand how difficult it must be not being able to hear me talk all week like mentioned before. You still haven't said anything to me...you keep forgetting your digital recorder for an EVP session. Anyways, so you must be lonely. But yelling at your x box wont help. Calling it mother f*cker and fagg*t isn't every nice. You need to pet your x box and kiss it. Though, I am positive you give it much love when I am not around. It gets heated up every night. It gets turned on after dinner and cools off hours later. Poor thing must be exhausted after you're done with it. But Dr. John, please be aware, even though you don't notice I am here our son is sleeping right now. It is 8:45 pm and he has been up since 3 am and is tired himself. So beware that your Xbox and you are not the only ones under this roof. Thank you.
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Thursday, March 8, 2012
EVP time perhaps.
Dear Dr. John,
Hello. Oh wait, you didn't see me. Wait...was it too dark for you to see me? I know you saw our son because you said good night to him and told him you loved him...but you didn't say anything to me who was holding our son in my arms. Maybe you need to do an an EVP session to hear my voice? I'm assuming so since all this week you haven't spoken to me. Not even a hello. Oops my bad, you did tell my sister and I "well, y'all have a nice day."
Let's get started. Daa!
Day 1
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